Misguided Musical Ambitions & Completely Rational Musical Love
Once upon a time, around the age of 11 to be precise, I thought I was a lyrical genius. Despite not playing an instrument of any kind or the ability to read music, I thought that my mildly good voice and affinity for writing were the essential ingredients to making me a musical sensation. I will not out the friend who supported this unattainable dream that she and I could be the new M2M (yes, I understand that knowing what we know now that was not a very high musical aspiration; but at the time, M2M was pretty freaking cool). I kept our song lyrics in my binder in the hopes that people at my new school would somehow happen to notice and I would be able to humbly explain how cool I was. HA!
This passion for music, although it led to some misguided notions, also led me to be that person who (when she finally got an iPod c. 2009) constantly had head phones in her ears. In college, I would listen to my iPod (RIP) all day long while riding my bicycle to and from class, singing (albeit quietly) “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae and “Bicycle Race” by Queen shamelessly. In public. Totally fine admitting that now.
I used music to get in to character for plays and rehearsals and block out the world. I use music to take me back in time to happy moments of my life like in my carpool where we would sing all the way to school and all the way home. My friend and I would even harmonize and sing duets. There were no musical boundaries. Music takes me back to the heartbreaks where I would listen to one song on repeat over and over again and make it my anthem. To this day, “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles induces feelings of embarrassment at just how heartbroken I was over someone who did not care a lick about me. If you are not familiar with it, “Gravity” is a horribly heart-wrenching, beautiful masterpiece and I highly recommend it.
Because I now work in an office job where I have little to no privacy, but get phone calls fairly frequently so I can’t always be plugged into headphones. I have gotten into a habit of not listening to music, which quite honestly, depresses me a little. Then one day, I’ll turn on Pandora stations and find music I’ve never heard before. Or Brandi Carlisle comes out with the new album, By the Way, I Forgive You that I listen to while getting two fillings at the dentists office. My love resurrects from the pit of silence and all the obsession bubbles up to the surface and asks me how I ever survived silence. This has happened more than once now, so I’m sure it will happen again, but at this moment, I am blissfully enveloped by The Wailin’ Jennys “By Way of Sorrow” on their Pandora station.
Now that I have less time to discover new music, I wonder how you are discovering new artists and music. The radio only seems to play the same 100 songs over and over again and most of them sound the same. What are your anthems? What song has touched your soul?